Drive away the demons

When the stress level hits the roof, it is time to remove the lid of the pressure cooker. We see people talking to themselves or making wild gestures when they are alone. It is not really a sign of madness but an act of relieving tension.
  I was watching water boil over and saw the steam lifting off the lid as heated by the tongue of fires from the gas cooker. It was just a few hours after I'd heard someone had suffered from a brain haemorrhage.We go through the flames from time to time which boil up the brains knowing very well that the pace of life is hot enough to give us a stroke. Yet we never stop worrying, even though we have no reason to. Off late I've been seeing all sorts of relaxation techniques pasted on shop windows.
  From gentle massages to Tai Chi and even the ridiculous art of walking upside down. People would try anything. We rely so much on external influences that we cannot trust our own intuition. It is big business now for the so called experts of relaxation. Acupuncturists have also jumped into the bandwagon and the ladies queue up in aerobic classes to calm the nerves. Doctors too, compound the problem even further.
  They prescribe antidepressants that push you to drug addiction. You swallow pills or see a therapist of some sort when what you really need is to come to terms with your expectations. We forget about unrealistic targets and demands that drive us to insanity. We blame the type of jobs we have. We even hate the car we are driving.
  The short remedy is to get a  new job or car. However the problem would only shift to something else because we place our faith on forces beyond our control. other night, when I woke up in a cold sweat, I thought that the devil was out to get me. I sneaked out of bed and switched the laptop and sought refuge listening to the collection of songs. I tap danced the best part of the night in tempo with the music until the devil got bored with me. Who cares? There was no one to see me and I solved the problem with the sweet sound of music.
  It is true that I can shoo away the demons better when I'm alone. I also talk to myself and even throw my hands up in a limited fashion. It is very therapeutic too and it comes free of charge. On closer scrutiny , I find that I am not alone. Half of the regular people I meet have perfected the same technique. I know because they use the same pattern and we even nod at each other knowingly as we go on with our rituals. Perhaps one day I'd have the courage to corner enough of them to form a club of some kind.
  So it remains that putting a lid on your troubles never solves a problem. Never giva a chance to the phantom of your spirits. Get them by the scruff of their necks and swing them away. It does not have to be expensive but seek help from people who know. Help maybe within your reach if you look far enough!

Under the sharp knife

Nothing surprises me anymore. Older generations are now proved wrong. They always believed that humans are not machines.When Hollywood made movies about bionic people years ago, most of us thought it was pure fantasy.
  But it was a grim warning for things to come. To feel young is never enough and now older people want to stay young forever. I was astonished to see a middle aged television presenter look like a teenager.
  I thought they were playing old tapes. It was only weeks later that I learned that she had been under the surgeon's knife on many occasions. Old wrinkles had been smoothened and drooping skins on the chin cut-off. She reminded me of my old washing machine. Over the years we changed its door, the switch and the knobs giving it a complete facelift.
  Soon like the washer, she could change most parts of her body to keep herself serviceable to her employers. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against anyone who could afford to keep themselves youthful. However I feel for people who get maimed in accidents or wars who cannot get fixed up because plastic surgery is too expensive. Plastic surgeons stay clear from such people since they are busy following the trail of celebrities.
  It is no wonder that such experts do not work for government hospitals. They simply cost too much. It is also not surprising that poor people who get limbs amputated are crippled forever.
  Actors would not have large followings if they are not supported by the likes of us. To maintain their glamorous image, they regularly visit the butchers. The only butcher you and I can afford is that one who sells us red meat. In a recent newspaper article, a self-styled beauty consultant predicted that in ten years, changing one's features would be as commonplace as having false teeth. Such people in my opinion, are completely detached from reality. Millions of people around the world cannot even afford a toothpaste let alone a new set of dentures.
  It is funny isn't it? When you have a healthy bank balance all you think of is how to get rid of your big nose while the poor rummage the street bins looking for crumbs.

  That 'small' amount of cash would feed a few households for a month in the third world. But then you only get concerned about what you see and it is you face that you stare at every morning. I guess there is that selfish side in every one of us. A trickle you manage for charity is all you have time for. After all, you would not give half your chicken to the stray cat, would you? A scrap is enough.
  These days looking good is important when you are in a public eye. Diet takes a long time and exercise is too laborious.
  The sharp knife of a man in a white coat is a quick remedy to take celebrities back in time. Until, that is, when the Angel of Death comes calling.

The word count

Finally we can talk about it without looking over our shoulder. Men are as garrulous as women. They suffer as many yak attacks as do women and in as many social situations.

  But, just as there is a difference between 'listening' and 'hearing', there's also a difference between talking and communicating. It seems men talk as much as women (put away the stop clock now please, it no longer serves a purpose) but, to drop the brick on your foot- women are better at communication. You know those raised eyebrows, elegant shoulder shrugs, narrowing of eyes and pursing of lips- toss in some toss of hair, hands on the hips and few hundred other variations of body languagespeak and you know the scientists are right- women are better at communication.

Dapper men in designer suits do not use their hips as palm rests to make a point. Instead, they would rather shake hands, laugh a bit perhaps while throwing back their head a little(it's called a greeting) and get down to talking business. At last count, men were clocking in at 15,669 words(in 2 to 10 days) and women were a little ahead with 16,215 words.
  Now that's what's called too close for comfort.

expressions

 Security at airports has become so tight that soon they may not allow us to carry our facial expressions on board. Officers at airports now observe travellers' facial expressions, body and eye movements, changes in vocal pitch and other indicators of stress or disorientation.So if you are a part of a dance troupe or a sports team trying to get in some neck exercises while you wait, my advise is: desist. Look straight ahead, don't move, and keep your voice at a low pitch. Remember a time when these were the very indicators of stress and disorientation? One generation's guilt is another generation's innocence.
  Behaviour Detection Officers(BDOs) don't look for guns or bombs; instead they are trained to look into your soul and detect signs of evil intent. If they look really hard they might even be able to tell you what you had for breakfast ten years ago to the day or the amount on the parking ticket you refused to pay,
  What if bad men take courses in behaviour detection too? They could look out of their cars at traffic signals and tell at a glance whether the driver of the vehicle nearby is smiling because a) he has caught you digging your nose b)he is cheating on his wife or c) he has just remembered the item song involving Katrina Kaif's hip moves.
  Like nuclear energy, the technique could be put to good use too. Imagine walking into a restaurant and a waiter bringing you exactly what you wanted after one look at your face. Or books at a large store jumping out of the shelves and lining in a neat pile around you because the salesperson could tell at a glance what your interests are.
  Laugh and the world laughs at you. Cry and you get arrested for poor facial expression.

equality

People generally attempt to expose female exploitation and argue for equality between men and women. I beg to differ on both the points. First, no one can exploit you if you don't allow, no matter what the cost. Second, those who talk of men-women equality make two vital assumptions: One that women are the weaker sex; and both men and women are of the same kind and hence can be compared.
  In my opinion, both of these assumptions are wrong. The very fact that life is conceived, nurtured and brought into this world by a woman, despite the unbearable pain of delivery proves that women are much stronger than men. Additionally the physical and mental constructs of both men and women are fundamentally different, thus putting them into dissimilar categories. Just as an apple can never be equal to an orange, a woman can never be compared to a man. Both men and women possess unique qualities that complement each other. It is nature's grand plan to maintain the difference between Yin and Yang so that the world can survive as a whole. And, it is our obligation to respect this difference and stop comparing the incomparable but equally beautiful creations of god!

The sum of all our fears

All of us are scared of something, right? From the neighbour's dog to the weekly nightmare in which you turn into a turnip before midnight to being served a plate of boiled ants...
   I know someone who's reluctant to write the word banana because once he starts, he worries that he wont be able to stop with the 'n's and the 'a's!
   I don't like clowns. I don't agree with the idea of men with big wigs, painted faces and enormous shoes driving cars where the doors fall off when they use the horn. Clowns in real life are even more freaky- at the circus, randomly at shopping malls, etc.. There's something not right about bending balloons into animal shapes. My first trip to a local mall was a nightmare, wandering around oblivious buying stuff then seeing a mechanical clown climbing up a rope... leering at me, with its eyes following me around.

   My other childhood fear was the dark, the result of an over-active imagination and a love of scary movies. I was always convinced there was something unspeakable under my bed (apart from my favourite pair of pants which in themselves were quite scary!). I never understood in horror films why when the teenagers' car broke down they would think of going to the big creepy house to stay the night... and if the front door squeaks when you open it, what other warning do you need? Just run!
   A friend of mine had to fend off the advances of an over-amorous large dog when she was a kid- resulting in a lifelong fear of big dogs. I find this particularly funny (especially as I have no fear of dogs- unless, of course, they happened to be dressed like clowns). I always try to test my friend by playing one of my favourite games , Name Your Price.
   Basically you think about the most unpleasant things (like eyeballs) and ask how much money they would want to eat a plate full of eyeballs. I always tease her with "Well, for a million pounds would you let the dog be near you for five minutes?" Despite her refusal to ever allow it to happen, in my experience, we all have a price- you just have to find it!

Painting happiness

A world without suffering. In today's times, you wonder if that is any longer a possibility. But reading about the endeavours of some people, you begin to think, 'Perhaps...'
   For you to spread the 'Perhaps' happy bug around, you have to first train your mind to always see a glass as half full, not half empty. Then simply fill it to the brim. Now pick up the glass full and offer it to someone who is in pain, is suffering or teetering on the edge of despair. It's transformational. Filling up the glass is as metaphoric as is the act of seeing it as half full (to begin with). There are a thousand ways of filling up that glass just as there are a thousand things that can stand in for a half full glass. A bleak situation, a bruising experience, a hard mental journey, a physical obstacle, an emotional loss... people are stuck by so many kinds of tragedies. But each one of us also possess something- a talent, a gift, a privilege, an art- which if offered generously can help a person deal with the tragedy better!