The sum of all our fears

All of us are scared of something, right? From the neighbour's dog to the weekly nightmare in which you turn into a turnip before midnight to being served a plate of boiled ants...
   I know someone who's reluctant to write the word banana because once he starts, he worries that he wont be able to stop with the 'n's and the 'a's!
   I don't like clowns. I don't agree with the idea of men with big wigs, painted faces and enormous shoes driving cars where the doors fall off when they use the horn. Clowns in real life are even more freaky- at the circus, randomly at shopping malls, etc.. There's something not right about bending balloons into animal shapes. My first trip to a local mall was a nightmare, wandering around oblivious buying stuff then seeing a mechanical clown climbing up a rope... leering at me, with its eyes following me around.

   My other childhood fear was the dark, the result of an over-active imagination and a love of scary movies. I was always convinced there was something unspeakable under my bed (apart from my favourite pair of pants which in themselves were quite scary!). I never understood in horror films why when the teenagers' car broke down they would think of going to the big creepy house to stay the night... and if the front door squeaks when you open it, what other warning do you need? Just run!
   A friend of mine had to fend off the advances of an over-amorous large dog when she was a kid- resulting in a lifelong fear of big dogs. I find this particularly funny (especially as I have no fear of dogs- unless, of course, they happened to be dressed like clowns). I always try to test my friend by playing one of my favourite games , Name Your Price.
   Basically you think about the most unpleasant things (like eyeballs) and ask how much money they would want to eat a plate full of eyeballs. I always tease her with "Well, for a million pounds would you let the dog be near you for five minutes?" Despite her refusal to ever allow it to happen, in my experience, we all have a price- you just have to find it!

Painting happiness

A world without suffering. In today's times, you wonder if that is any longer a possibility. But reading about the endeavours of some people, you begin to think, 'Perhaps...'
   For you to spread the 'Perhaps' happy bug around, you have to first train your mind to always see a glass as half full, not half empty. Then simply fill it to the brim. Now pick up the glass full and offer it to someone who is in pain, is suffering or teetering on the edge of despair. It's transformational. Filling up the glass is as metaphoric as is the act of seeing it as half full (to begin with). There are a thousand ways of filling up that glass just as there are a thousand things that can stand in for a half full glass. A bleak situation, a bruising experience, a hard mental journey, a physical obstacle, an emotional loss... people are stuck by so many kinds of tragedies. But each one of us also possess something- a talent, a gift, a privilege, an art- which if offered generously can help a person deal with the tragedy better!

Are you sure?

If there's one thing I know for sure it's that I don't know one thing for sure.
Stuff I learned at school now appear to be outdated theories about history and civilizations. With the explosion of media, internet and the like-we are exposed to so much information and different perspectives- it's hard to know what the truth really is about, literally anything.
   I read a story a few weeks back regarding a lady who wrote to the newspaper asking why there were so many onions on the beach? At the time I thought that the answer was pretty simple- Barbecues.
   The answer given was that onions provide a solution to the problems posed by jellyfish.
   I imagined he would be telling that you could repel jellyfish by throwing onions at them from the beach. But incredibly he says "the best cure for a jellyfish sting is to rub the juice of an onion on it". So who knows? And more incredibly, how do we find that stuff out? I can't imagine somebody running out of the water covered in stings and ignoring an ambulance and medical staff- and driving to the Fruit & Veg section of a supermarket. But, like I said, who knows?

  And with the whole Wikipedia culture- the basic premise being that there's an online information database that we can all access for research but more worrying- we can all contribute towards. There's some absolutely crazy stuff written on the interweb and the last thing that we need is some of that going to websites that we might look at to get facts! Things like "bald men may well lose hair on their head because they have excessive hair on their arms and the heat has to escape somewhere".
   Science is as yet unable to get to grips. The worst scenario imaginable is if my granny gets online because some of her theories that she actually practices in real life are nothing short of terrifying. Example: whenever I bumped my head as a child (this happened quite regularly and may well explain my later personality) instead of the recognized ointments she would smear the bump with butter. If you know no different you just accept it- but on those occasions that you ventured out back to your mates and told them you had butter on your head, their uncontrollable laughter gave some clue that maybe it was not such a commonly accepted remedy. Alternatively, my friend once had a goldfish that went a bit wonky and her mom plopped a dissolvable aspirin in the tank much to our horror. It lived another three years by the way... but was much more hyper!
   So who really knows?
   All I do know for sure is that the most important thing to strive for is Love- it has to be as good as your dream, with no compromise. And if you have that you have the answer to all of Life's questions.
 

Mom and Dad... your vision is our guiding light

Every journey
We embark upon
Starts with the memory
Of things you have done

Every odd
We dare to defy
We battle with courage
You inspired us by

Every moment
Of times that are dark
We walk through with ease
On the path that you marked

Every milestone
Every conquest
Is a symbol of our thanks
For your dreams of success!

mothers love

A mother's love is like a circle.
It has no beginning and no ending.
It keeps going around and around ever expanding,
touching everyone who comes in contact with it.
Engulfing them like the morning's mist,
warming them like the noontime sun
and covering them like a blanket.

Unwritten by hand

What lies between longhand and shorthand? The lost world of handwriting. Perhaps the term 'lost world' is a bit of an exaggeration. Disappearing is better.
   If I could I would've written in this space instead of indulging in e-finger point pressure . But clearly in this age of technology, its e-finger point pressure that is the way to communicate. Time was when we had out knuckles rapped for forgetting to dot the I's and cross the T's. When the long strokes of a 'g' were supposed to be practiced till the alphabet looked like a dancer hugging herself at the waist, when the 'w' needed to sit on delicately curved derriere, when the 'a' was plump and the 'b' was full-bellied. The sentences formed then with such finely crafted alphabets looked like art- the art of handwriting. In fact, the marriage of profession and handwriting is one of the most fascinating phenomena that history has given us. From the architectural precision of Frank Lloyd Wright's handwriting to the flourishes of Leonardo da Vinci to the fluidity of Miro, handwriting took its place along with the other greats in the world of art... till the keyboard arrived. The rest is history- of mouse and men, so to speak!

The art of saying NO

Most people say 'yes' much more readily than 'no'. Many respond 'yes' automatically to requests, neglecting to consider their own interests and feelings, and are then angry with themselves afterwards. Saying 'no' requires courage and considerable practice. Saying 'yes' is always easier because you receive a grateful smile in response or similar indication of pleasure. Everyone wants to be liked. Saying 'no' risks losing the affection of the person asking the favour, status in the community or even a job.
   Uncertain times in particular bring this tendency to the fore, with the result that many people rather say 'yes' in spite of themselves just for the sake of keeping the peace. Anyone should be able to say 'no'. There's a lot to be gained from facing down the fear of saying 'no'.
   Rejecting a request can help to stabilize a relationship, because it helps establish limits and to express genuine feelings. But for people like me, who are accustomed to agreeing to every request, changing can be a long and uncomfortable learning process.
   Before we are able to say 'no' in a particular situation, we have to give ourselves permission internally. This happens only if we have corrected the negative attitudes we associate with saying 'no' and which prevent us from doing so. "If I say 'no' then the other person will reject me and his affection is important to me," is an attitude often expressed. But this can be replaced by: "I don't know whether he's going to reject me, but if he only likes me because I always do what suits him, then the price of his affection is too high in the long term. I can put up with having him reject me." It is, however, important to formulate the refusal in language that does not cause offence.
    Talking to the other person about a mutual solution to any difference of opinion is the key. One needs to present the situation from one's own point of view, and to suggest how the situation can be developed to the advantage of both parties. The other person must have the feeling that his interests are also being considered. The refusal is, after all, painful for both.

  

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time leadership mattered, now dealership rules the world.
Once upon a time quality was a craftsman's pride, now it is a departmental mess.
Once upon a time a mouse was an untouchable mammal, now its a handled pest.

Once upon a time wisdom was cultivated by wise people, now it is flashed on T-shirts.
Once upon a time teachers taught and students learnt, now teachers trade and students consume.
Once upon a time population was a problem, now it is a flourishing mass market.
Once upon a time competition brought out the best in products, now it brings out the worst in people.
Once upon a time there was a golden rule, now if you have gold, you rule.
Once upon a time truth telling was good for your soul, now it is bad for your promotion.
Once upon a time success meant living by ideals, now it is about rising above all principles.
Once upon a time beauty was in the eye of the beholder, now its a blooming business.
Once upon a time the government was clean and sex was dirty! Now, one doesn't know!

The negative side of positive thinking

Thoughts are neither negative nor positive. Thoughts just are. What they turn out to be, depends on the context. Given a context, thoughts can be realistic or unrealistic; mean or generous; selfish or selfless. Many chronic positive thinkers insist that the glass is half full- do they still remain positive when the glass is half full of polluted water? A positive thinking fellow is like someone who decides that it is more honourable to fall down from the Eiffel tower rather than from a ten storied building! It doesn't matter where you fall from, the consequences will be disastrous. In reality no positive thought can arise without a negative thought hiding around it. They are like the two poles of a magnet. For instance if i ask you not to think of Katrina Kaif for the next one minute- you will invariably think of her!
   Positive thinking can turn negative very quickly. Why? Because they originate from the same source. They are interconnected like marigold and manure. It takes a blooming marigold just a few days to become manure. Similarly, manure becomes a flower in the course of time. Marigold and manure are two expressions of one shared identity. Negative thinking comes from the same shared space as positive thinking. I am not endorsing positive thinking. I am simply saying, thoughts become positive or negative depending on you. It is you who sets the standards and values by which you evaluate thoughts. Alot of people talk about falling standards of everything: food, music, newspapers, movies, the young generation or whatever. Actually standards have neither fallen nor risen. Standards have just shifted; your value frames have changed.

rest your past

I am beginning to think that people with good memory lead a very miserable life. No offence meant but who would like to remember every detail of the past? We have enough problems dealing with the present without letting the past muddle up with our thoughts.
   Though I have a lot of respect for people who keep a diary but I would personally not like to take a peek into my past. This is the reason why I would never write my memoirs because the past to me is fast becoming a very distant blur.
   The problems with the times gone by is that they remind you of nothing but the crisis and dilemmas that you would rather forget.
   Don't get me wrong. I like history but not my own. Wars that have been won by the heroes of the past make fascinating reading but personal battles scrolled in a diary do not. The greatest lesson we can learn about history books is that nobody bothers to read them over and over again. Why should you want to recall your schooldays and be reminded of a bully who gave you a torrid time?
   The past has no good memories-even a happy family trip can remind you of the times that you can never get back. Why waste time delving deep in the recess of your memory when you have a lot to accomplish right now? Although experience is the product of the past but it is best forgotten once lessons have been learned. Letting memories linger on is like leaving an injury untreated to remind you of the fall that you should have avoided. If you look closely, we sometimes hesitate making progress when we remember an incident that happened a while ago.
   The mistakes of the past and the fear of the future usually are two pivotal reasons that keep us locked within ourselves. Unfortunately, not all of us have the ability to lift our heads from the gloom of the past. It strikes hard when we least suspect it and spreads its darkness to smolder all hopes.
   Usually, the seemingly strongest people become victims while the weak come through it unscathed. The signs are always there, though at times, maybe difficult to dictate the symptoms. We can help if we see a change of routine or a drastic shift of one's disposition. No one would come forward and say,"I'm depressed." It is not that simple because depression is a result of some aspects of the past not dealt successfully.
   So should we let our past rest in peace? I certainly think so. Clinging to it shrouds our abilities to move on. It remains that you never have any control of the past so steering away from it makes sense. The only thing you need to remember is your wife's/gf's birthday and the ATM pin number! ;P

the smile millionaire!

Most millionaires I see have faces that look like crumpled pajamas. There is tension written large on a crumpled forehead. Their eyes are sunken deep. Smiles seem to have vanished from their cheeks like the clothes of MTV starlets.
     A smile is like a bridge between a politician's tall promise and his null performance; it is the most convincing alibi of a late coming secretary when she is confronted by a strict boss. A smile is a perfect way for a dentist to tell a patient, " Sorry for extracting the wrong tooth!" When an aircraft refuses to take off for hours, the ground staff can cover the elusive distance of miles with frequent flying smiles.
   The face has a thousand muscles. You can organise the same muscles either to manufacture a dimpled smile or a crumpled frown. In both cases, the input determines the output. In the case of a smile, the input is a playful and a relaxed mental state. Behind a frown is an uptight and obsessive ego that needs to control everything. Every millionaire in the United States helps create eleven more millionaires. I do not know what the statistics are in India. But one cant fail to see that for every millionaire in this country, there are a large number of pakora faces raising eyebrows in envy. The poor in India smile more often than their rich counterparts. If you havent made the real millions, you can atleast be a smile millionaire! :)